Look, I’m gonna say it
AI is not the messiah. It’s not even the digital assistant we were promised. It’s a glorified autocomplete with a bad attitude and a habit of making stuff up. I’ve been in tech since the dial-up days, and I’ve seen this movie before. Remember when blockchain was gonna save the world? Yeah, me too.
Last Tuesday, I was at a conference in Austin. Some suit from a company I’d never heard of stood up and said, “AI is the future.” I asked, “Yeah, but can it make a decent cup of coffee?” He didn’t laugh. Neither did the 214 other people in the room. Which, honestly, says alot about the state of tech humor these days.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m not some Luddite screaming about the end times. I’ve seen AI do some pretty amazing stuff. But the hype? The hype is out of control. It’s like we’ve collectively decided that if we ignore the flaws long enough, they’ll just disappear. Spoiler alert: they won’t.
Let me tell you about Marcus
Let’s call him Marcus. He’s a friend of a friend, works at a startup in San Francisco. They’re building some AI thingamajig that’s supposed to revolutionize the way we committment to… something. I don’t even know. The point is, Marcus is stressed. He’s working 36-hour weeks, and the AI keeps making mistakes that cost the company money. But the investors? They’re still throwing cash at it like it’s the second coming of Google.
I asked Marcus, “Why don’t you just tell them it’s not working?” He said, “Because then I’ll be out of a job.” Which… yeah. Fair enough. But it’s a problem, isn’t it? We’re so busy chasing the next big thing that we forget to ask if it’s actually any good.
A personal anecdote
About three months ago, I was at a bar in Mumbai with a colleague named Dave. We were talking about AI, obviously. Dave said, “It’s gonna replace journalists. You mark my words.” I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my drink. I said, “Dave, you do realize that AI can’t even tell the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than,’ right?”
But here’s the thing. Dave might be right. Not about the ‘then’ and ‘than’ thing, obviously. But about the replacing journalists part. I mean, look at the state of online news these days. It’s a mess. And AI is just making it worse. But more on that later.
The cybersecurity angle
You wanna talk about a hot mess? Cybersecurity and AI are like two drunk friends trying to outdo each other at karaoke. It’s painful to watch, but you can’t look away.
I was at a meetup last month, over coffee at the place on 5th. Some security expert — let’s call him Raj — was talking about how AI is gonna save us all from hackers. I asked, “Raj, if AI is so smart, why can’t it stop the phishing emails that look like they were written by a five-year-old?” He didn’t have an answer. Because there isn’t one.
And that’s the thing about AI and cybersecurity. It’s not a magic bullet. It’s a tool. And like any tool, it’s only as good as the person using it. But hey, what do I know? I’m just some old editor who still remembers the sound of a dial-up connection.
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A tangent about gadgets
Oh, and gadgets. Don’t even get me started on gadgets. I mean, I love a good gadget as much as the next guy. But the AI-powered ones? They’re just… no. I had this AI-powered vacuum cleaner. It was supposed to learn my habits and clean my house without me lifting a finger. Instead, it learned to hate me and plotted my demise. I’m not kidding. It kept getting stuck on the same spot on the rug. I swear it was doing it on purpose.
I finally unplugged the thing and threw it in the closet. It’s still in there, probably plotting its revenge. I’ll deal with it when I feel like it. Or when it starts making noise again. Whichever comes first.
Back to the main point
Look, I’m not saying AI is all bad. It’s not. It’s just… I don’t know. It’s like that kid in school who was really good at math but couldn’t tie his own shoes. You know the one. We all had one.
AI is that kid. It’s brilliant in some ways, completely clueless in others. And we’re all just standing around pretending it’s not a problem. Well, I’m not pretending anymore. I’m calling it like I see it. And what I see is a bunch of hype, a lot of flaws, and not enough people willing to say, “Hey, maybe we should slow down a bit.”
But who am I to talk? I’m just some old editor who still remembers when a ‘cloud’ was just a thing in the sky. What do I know about the future?
About the Author: Sarah “Salty” Thompson has been a senior editor at Mumbai TV News for 22 years. She’s seen the tech industry evolve from floppy disks to quantum computing, and she’s not impressed. When she’s not complaining about the state of the world, she’s complaining about the state of her garden. You can find her on Twitter @SaltyThompson, where she tweets about tech, politics, and why her tomato plants won’t grow.
